Tuesday, April 10, 2007

What if

The following was sent to me through my office email, which i did not access throughout the 5-day vacation, which explains the delay in posting. The author is said to be one joel saracho of abs-cbn. I am still posting it here just in case some people are still on holy week mode (really?!) or wants to take a break from the 5-day break.


Breaking News: The Crucifixion

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Had ANC (OK, let's include CNN and BBC) been around 2,000 years ago,
we would have had the following report: Anchor reads: A carpenter's
son was sentenced to die in Jerusalem after he was convicted guilty of
treason and inciting to sedition. Our Middle East correspondent is on
the field to bring us a live report… So what's the latest ?


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Anchor reads:

A carpenter's son was sentenced to die in Jerusalem after he was
convicted guilty of treason and inciting to sedition.

Our Middle East correspondent is on the field to bring us a live
report… So what's the latest ?

Correspondent (Live Shot)

Tension is high as people wait for the arrival of Jesus and two
thieves convicted to die here in Mt. Calvary this afternoon.

Jesus is bearing a cross where he will be crucified. The crown of
thorns on his head is sure sign of torture, and it was said he was
tortured heavily which included scourging.

Jesus, who claims to receive Divine Instructions, was arrested by
Roman soldiers Wednesday evening after a party with his close
associates in Gethsemane. He was tipped off by Judas the Iscariot,
finance officer of Jesus's Gang of 12, known internationally as The
Apostles.

Sources from the Palace however say Judas was bribed by the Sanhedrin,
or high priests, led by Caiaphas and Anas, to stand witness against
his friend.

It is also alleged that Jesus is among the leaders of the Essenes and
is building a mass base to form a new religion which will be called
Christianity to challenge the faith of the Jews.

Anchor

These high priests, did they say what specific offenses Jesus committed?

Correspondent

Among many other things, the Sanhedrins say Jesus worked on the
Sabbath and perform unauthorized miracles, including changing water
into wine.

It must also be remembered that Jesus made a scene when he threw a
tantrum in the temple and turned over the tables used by the
money-changers and vendors.

He was also seen talking to a crowd and inciting them to rebel against
Judean authorities in his speech popularly known as The Beautitudes.

Anchor

And the high priests found those acts worthy of capital punishment?

Correspondent

No. The high priests have no authority. What they did was send Jesus
to Governor Pontius Pilate who sent him to herod Antipas, ruler of
Galilee. I understand they have a question on Jesus's citizenship and
they concluded he was Galilean so he was sent to Herod Antipas.

Anchor

That's interesting. Isn't this the same Herod who ordered the
beheading of John the Baptist? And Pilate, representative of Rome is
not necessarily in good terms with Herod, is it not?

Correspondent

Yes to both questions.

It is safe to say there's a lot of power play here. In sending Jesus
to Herod, Pilate is testing Herod's adherence to Roman supremacy.
Pilate is actually luring Herod into a trap. But Herod refused to
bite.

From the information we have, Herod mocked Jesus by asking him to
perform a miracle. When Jesus refused, Herod sent him back to Pilate
for Rome to determine guilt and the necessary punishment.


Pilate had to preside over the trial. It was learned that Pilate held
some kind of a referendum when, following the tradition of releasing a
prisoner during Passover, he asked the people who they want to be
released – Jesus or another insurrectionist, Barabbas. The people
chose Barabbas.

Pilate was quoted as saying he doesn't believe Jesus is guilty but
that the people have spoken. Instead, he washed his hands to free
himself of guilt.

Anchor interrupts

We have to cut you short to give way to a breaking development from
our DZMM reporter. What's the latest?

Reporter:

Mainit pa ang balitang ito, at mainit pa rin ang bangkay ng
nagpatiwakal na dating kaibigan at kasama ni Jesus na kinilalang si
Hudas Iskariote.

Ayon sa mga awtoridad, natagpuan si Hudas na nakabigti sa isang puno
ng oliba ilang minuto matapos panoorin ang pagpapahirap kay Jesus.
Itong si Hudas ang siya daw nagtatwa kay Jesus at nagturo sa
kinaroroonan nito bago dinakip ng mga sundalo.

Samantala, kanina lamang ay nasalubong natin ang isang grupo ng mga
babae na may hawak na tela na may bakas ng mukha ni Jesus. Ayon kay
Ginang Veronica, pinunasan niya ang mukha ni Jesus nang makita niyang
hirap na ito sa pagpapasan ng krus. Aniya, milagrosong naging larawan
ni Jesus ang dugo at pawis na kumapit sa kanyang telang pamunas.

Ganunman, tinitingnan pa ng mga maykapangyarihan kung ang larawan ay
hindi dumaan sa digital manipulation.

'Yan muna ang pinakahuling pangyayari dito. Back to you.

Anchor

Salamat . Now let's go back to Mt. Calvary where Jesus and the thieves
who will be crucified with him have just arrived.

Our Middle East correspondent is still there. What is happening now?

Correspondent

You're right. The mood has become so emotional especially when Jesus
met his mother, Mary and his rumored to be paramour, a woman also
called Mary.

It is not known if Jesus has other brothers or sisters, but his mother
is accompanied by some men, identifed as James and Joseph. Also with
them is one of Jesus's friend, John.

The Roman soldiers nailed a sign on thecross that says King of the
Jews, apparently to better mock Jesus who is said to have claimed he
is the son of God.

I think Jesus is saying something. Let's try to listen to him.

Jesus soundbite

Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing….

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